


betelgeuse

by Homosexy



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/F, Lena-centric, lena is an astrophysics nerd, no powers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 09:48:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15168026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Homosexy/pseuds/Homosexy
Summary: Lena wished that she could be less cliché about her favourite star. That it would be something that actually showed the depth of her knowledge, the time she spent learning to stargaze, that she knew about this. Procyon, Altair, Aldebaran, Bellatrix, all would have been the kind of choice she would like to have made. But how could she resist the runaway star? It had to be Betelgeuse.





	betelgeuse

**Author's Note:**

> okay so I wrote this because I love three things a lot and two of those things are fictional gays and astrophysics (the third is my girlfriend). It’s a bit of a mess imo but I hope you enjoy it :)

Lena wished that she could be less cliché about her favourite star. That it would be something that actually showed the depth of her knowledge, the time she spent learning to stargaze, that she knew about this. Procyon, Altair, Aldebaran, Bellatrix, all would have been the kind of choice she would like to have made. But how could she resist the runaway star? It had to be Betelgeuse. The first star she ever found in the sky by herself, she smiled seeing its name in Hitchhiker’s Guide when she read it for the first time (and all subsequent readings). When she looked up at the winter skies, she always started her star-hopping at Betelgeuse.

 

She probably wasn’t supposed to find a star relatable, but if she didn’t Lena imagined she might have more friends. Her list of friends started and ended at Sam Arias. And Sam was lovely, Lena could not wish for a better friend. Sam supported her, listened to her ramble about the stars, comforted her when she needed to just vent about the mess that was her family life. But she had a suspicion that maybe if she stopped saying things like how she really related to Betelgeuse because of its variable brightness and runaway nature, people might like her a little bit more. People including her mother, who Lena had long learned had no desire to hear about how Lena had found Jupiter just on the edge of Libra, and would rather she just settle down and study engineering, or medicine, rather than quantum physics and astrophysics, as Lena so desperately wanted to.

 

But first, there was high school. A pretty girl named Kara Danvers sat next to Lena in the first math class of Lena’s high school years, and when she smiled Lena forgot her own name, felt her heart swell like it did when she gazed along the edges of the Winter Hexagon. She seemed nice enough, forgiving Lena’s awkwardness at the drop of a hat, but as soon as the lesson was over Lena saw that she already had a whole posse of friends (mostly male) following her around and Lena felt too nervous to approach them. Not just because Kara was so pretty Lena thought she’d probably trip over her feet before even managing to ask if she could tag along.

 

It only got worse. Too scared to hang out with her outside of class, Lena still sat next to Kara in math, chemistry and physics somehow. The more she got to know her, the more she fell. Every time she saw Kara, it was like a bow shock formed inside her chest as her brain realised that Kara was there and magnetised to her, making Lena tremble, just a little. Yet at the same time she was so at ease around Kara, whose naturally kind, outgoing disposition let conversations ambiently flow like plasma.

 

Lillian had organised tutoring sessions with Sam for Lena because of course she had, even though Lena was passing every class she took and handed in every piece of work on time. Anything to get her out of Lillian’s sight for a night. But Sam had other plans; after forcing a hat on Lena’s head and putting some tea in a thermos, she dragged Lena out the front door and into the bright red car she’d recently learned to drive (Lena was growing to love having a friend who was older and could therefore drive her places. It felt weird being chauffeured around by actual chauffeurs). They arrived at a field around ten minutes later, to Lena’s distinct confusion

“Why are we here?”

“I found a local stargazing group”

“You’re kidding” Lena turned to Sam in disbelief, her face lighting up like a cepheid- predictable and rapid.

“I heard about it from someone in bio, her kid sister’s your year-“

“Oh no”

“It’ll be fine” Sam reassured her, “They go as a family apparently. Anyway, I know you don’t need study sessions, so I brought you along”

“But my binoculars-“

“I... obtained them from your room yesterday. Sneak them into your bag next time” Sam grinned

 

The group was mostly comprised of people at least one decade her senior, but they all seemed decidedly lovely. She was engrossed in a chat with one man about light pollution, when she could have sworn she heard her name being called. She whipped her head around and saw Kara. No way. The girl ran over excitedly with four people in tow. Two were clearly her parents. One of the two teenage girls with her looked to perhaps be an older sister, but the other didn’t look related at all.

“Lena, I knew it was you!”

“Hi Kara- sorry, Jack”

“It’s fine, enjoy yourselves” The man said, departing with a cheerful wave

“This is my family” Kara gestures enthusiastically at the four people beside her, “This is my mom and dad, my sister Alex and her girlfriend Maggie”

“It’s nice to meet you all” Lena said politely, “People in my classes keep saying that I’ll turn out like Alex Danvers, which I assume is you?”

“I’d be the one” The older girl nodded, and Maggie exchanged a sympathetic glance with Lena that confirmed her suspicions. It all went over Kara’s head though

“Everyone this is Lena, she’s in some of my classes and she’s really smart, I forgot to introduce her just now”

“We figured, sweetie” Kara’s mother said. Her voice was warm and well, everything Lena imagined a mother’s should be, “It’s nice to meet you, Lena dear”

“I’ve been mentioned?”

“Of course, Kara gets excited when someone’s better at calc than her” Alex rolled her eyes and Maggie laughed

“Well, at least you’ve had a good impression... I think?” Lena attempted

“Of course they have” Kara said, somewhat indignantly, “Anyway, I didn’t know you liked stargazing”

“It’s my favourite pastime” Lena replied. Kara’s face lit up with excitement and interest. She looked so cute in that red scarf, it made Lena feel weak

“I bet you know where all of the stars are without a map. It seems like the kind of thing you’d be able to do”

“Not all of them...” Lena said. That might be true, but the amount she did know was embarrassing. Even if Kara didn’t think so, which mattered more to Lena than she’d like to admit

“You here with your family?” Maggie asked

“No” Lena laughed, trying to erase the bitterness from her tone. Her brother was known to some, but for the most part her disastrous home life wasn’t public knowledge, “My friend Sam brought me, but I think she might have gone back to the car”

“Sam Arias? I wondered why she was so curious about this in bio” Alex interjected

“Yeah, well, she’s meant to be tutoring me but we came here instead”

“From the sounds of it, you don’t exactly need tutoring” Alex frowned

“Yeah, well, exactly why we’re here” Lena faltered, but managed to rescue it. Maggie looked unconvinced- probably, she had heard about Lex at some point. Either that or she was just shrewd, which Lena could definitely believe

“Shall we leave you to it? I’m sure you would rather chat without us hanging over you” Kara’s mother asked her daughter

“Is that okay? We’ll meet back in a bit” Kara promised. There was a general response of assent; Maggie smiled almost knowingly as she walked away and Lena really, really hoped that she was just shrewd and that it wasn’t obvious that she’d been staring at Kara the entire time.

 

Lena felt marginally reassured by the fact that when she asked Kara what her favourite star was, she didn’t seem to find it weird. Despite the fact that it was the first question Lena asked her; not “How are you?” or anything remotely normal, of course.

“Sirius” Kara answered, “It’s the brightest”

“Fair enough” Lena smiled, endeared by Kara’s enthusiasm. She was practically glowing, even in the darkness of 8pm

“That’s probably a really silly reason to someone like you”

“No way” Lena assured her quickly, “It’s as good a reason as any. My favourite is Betelgeuse, it’s not like that’s much more obscure or unique”

“Howcome?” Kara asked

“Because it’s travelling through space at 30 kilometres a second and we’re still not quite sure why” Lena shrugged, “I might be able to find it... it could be a little early in the year though”

“Do it” Kara grinned, “I wanna use your fancy binoculars”

“By all means” Lena laughed. The binoculars she had bought herself, as Lillian cared very little exactly what Lena did with her generous allowance. She knew she was lucky in that regard.

 

It became their thing. Once a fortnight, Lena would go to the field on the edge of town and hang out with Kara, sometimes her family too. She learned that Alex was planning on being a doctor, that Kara wasn’t sure what she wanted to do yet but that she loved writing and potentially her English teacher Ms Grant too, the way she went on about her. It made Lena smile. Kara also loved to talk about stars. She knew her stuff about stargazing, having picked it up from her father when she was five, but Lena knew more about how stars form, their motion and their evolution.

 

Eventually Sam stopped hanging around in her car and came to join sometimes too. She hung out with Alex and Maggie, who she was sort of already friends with anyway. For the first time Lena realised that Sam looked at her like she was a child Sam needed to protect, because her expression was different when she talked to Alex and Maggie. Freer, lighter. It made Lena feel like she was going to burst with emotion. She’d never thought about how much Sam cared about her. They’d been forced together as children, despite Sam being a couple of years older. Lena also felt scared. Scared to share her personal life with Kara, because she wasn’t sure she could bear to see that expression on Kara’s face, nor bear to not see it. She’d never wanted someone to care about her since she was a small child yet to give up on the hope that Lillian might become a real mother.

 

Lena still didn’t join Kara’s friendship group. She heard about them though. James, a serious kid who said he wanted to own the New York Times one day. Winn, a total nerd (that made Lena feel less intimidated) who loved Star Wars and engineering. Then there was Mike, who’d just moved from another state (Lena didn’t bother to remember which one). She didn’t like Mike. He always thought he was the best at whatever class he was in, and Lena loved to prove him wrong. Kara seemed unsure about him, saying that he didn’t understand boundaries, which tallied with every interaction of his Lena had either witnessed or participated in. Despite that, she thought that one day she might feel ready to join that group.

 

Sam had her figured out by midway through the school year, on the week off the stargazing group. On those nights, Lena would just do her homework and hang out with Sam. Sam’s parents didn’t give a damn what was happening. Where Lillian held Lena’s life and decisions in a steel grip, Sam’s parents were barely there, besides doing the shopping to stock the fridge.

“So, “ Sam said with a throwaway air, “Tell me more about Kara”

“Don’t you hear about her from Alex?”

“Not really”

“Why the interest?”

“No reason” Sam shrugged. Lena knew she was lying

“Well, she’s really smart, she likes stargazing and writing and she plays soccer”

“Of course she does” Sam laughed, “No wonder”

“No wonder?”

“No wonder you have an enormous crush on her” Sam grinned

“I...” Lena thought about denying it for a few seconds, but if Sam knew there was no convincing her otherwise, “Yeah”

“You think she likes you back?”

“Me?” Lena scoffed, “Sam, have you met me?”

“She sure asks you about stars a lot for just friendly interest”

“She’s interested in everything”

“Everything you say”

“Because she’s a nice person. Unlike some people I could mention”

Sam laughed, and picked up her algebra textbook again. Lena sighed.

 

Screw Sam Arias and her apparent telepathy.

 

The year progressed and soon Kara and Lena were watching the Spring Sky together, finding Arcturus and Antares and Spica together. By that point, Maggie had Lena figured out (whether Sam had a hand in that, Lena didn’t know). There was no conversation, just a throwaway remark that only Lena and Sam caught

“You Danvers girls” She’d said, affectionately to Alex in response to something Lena didn’t remember, because all she could remember from that conversation was the look Maggie shot her. Then Sam had nudged her in the ribs. Nobody else had noticed.

 

It was around that time that Lena first went to Kara’s house. She was supposed to be at Sam’s as far as her mother knew. She had been at Sam’s. Then Kara had asked if she could talk to Lena because she was mad at Mike and didn’t want to drag James and Winn any further into the fight. On a whim, Lena had offered to come over, then convinced Sam to drive her. Alex opened the door

“Hi” She seemed pleased, maybe even relieved to see Lena, which was both good and concerning

“Hi, where’s Kara?”

“In her room. God I’d love to punch that Mike kid” Alex cracked her knuckles on her right hand. Lena was now extremely worried. What the hell had happened?

 

Kara’s eyes were red, but Lena guessed she’d stopped crying a while ago. She looked more angry than sad, which was something, to Lena at least

“Hi” She said quietly, slipping into the room and sitting on the end of Kara’s bed. She didn’t know how to do this. Sam had never asked her for comfort; it was always the other way round.

“Hi” Kara replied. She didn’t ask, but Lena could see it in her face and shuffled up the bed to sit right next to Kara. Put an arm around her. It seemed to be the right thing to do

“Talk to me” Lena said simply, and waited.

“Mike is... an asshole” Kara managed

“I don’t know what he’s done, but that he is” Lena agreed. She hated herself for feeling glad that Kara finally disliked the guy. She should just focus on her friend.

“Well, I...” Kara took a deep breath, “I never even told you but I kind of came out to my friends today”

“You did?” Lena asked. She’d never had anyone to come out to besides Sam, “That can be really hard, I’m proud of you. Seriously”

“Thanks” Kara said, smiling, “James and Winn were, well, James and Winn about it. That was nice. For them it was just another thing about me”

“That’s really great! I’m guessing it wasn’t so simple for Mike though”

“No. I’m more mad than upset, mostly” Kara explained, confirming Lena’s suspicions, “I just thought... he’s always been a little off but I thought he was a good kind person in there somewhere”

“You’re more forgiving than me” Lena laughed a little, “I think that’s a good thing though”

“Really?” Kara sounded genuinely surprised, “Anyway, Mike did three things of increasing awfulness. First he laughed at me”

“Ugh” Lena made a face, and it made Kara smile again

“Then he asked if I’d have a threesome with him”

“Wow” Lena whistled, “I hope you slapped him. Physically or verbally”

“I told him no way, that we’re only fourteen and that I don’t even see him like that. Actually I kind of said a lot of things, I don’t really remember. I just sort of startedrambling. I think I called him a creep”

“Rightly so” Lena agreed resoundingly

“Yeah, I guess” Kara still seemed sad that Mike hadn’t been a better person, “I think he got mad anyway, because then he stood up and announced it to the entire cafeteria”

“If I’d been there...” Lena muttered darkly, knowing full well that she absolutely could not take Mike in a fight

“Yeah so that’s... we’ll see how everyone takes it”

“I’m sure you’ll be okay, “ Lena reassured her, “I mean, people like you mostly, you’re not like me”

“What do you mean?”

“You haven’t heard? I can hardly turn a corner without hearing Lena the Lesbo sometimes” Lena laughed, “Why did you think everyone was talking about me turning out like Alex?”

“I didn’t realise that was what they meant” Kara said sadly

“It’s okay, I don’t really mind” Lena shrugged. It was the truth, “I think it’s just because I’m already weird. If I was like you, I’m sure it wouldn’t be a problem that I was gay”

“That’s not fair” Kara protested. Not for the first time it occurred to Lena how much Kara seemed determined to believe in people. She wished she could do the same.

 

She’d been right. Aside from a few inappropriate remarks (apparently Alex had almost decked a boy, but Maggie held her back), Kara got none of the flack Lena received because, well, Lena was Lena and Kara was Kara. Lena knew Kara felt bad about this. Mike had been slowly but firmly eschewed from the group and bit by bit, Kara tried to invite Lena in. Winn was highly enthusiastic, finally having someone to talk to about coding. And James seemed okay with her, if tentative. It wasn’t like Lena had anyone else to hang out with, but she still sometimes spent lunches in the library. She liked her peace and quiet sometimes. Though she thought she’d never refuse Kara company if she asked.

 

It was becoming a problem. Lena had been able to squash down her feelings when there was a possibility that Kara was straight. Lena had a little experience with straight girl crushes- her first crush, in middle school, had been just that- and she was learning to avoid them. But now she knew Kara was bi. At first Sam had teased her heavily about when she would ask Kara out, but it soon reduced to the occasional nudge. They still all went stargazing together. Lena felt like she was going to choke on her own feelings sometimes. Looking at Kara was like studying a planisphere because there wasn’t a thing about her that Lena wasn’t fascinated by. She was utterly enthralled. God, she wanted to kiss Kara like she wanted to travel to Australia some day so she could see the Southern Cross and Magellan Clouds: both unexplored, and both resigned to images she created in her mind of the things she wanted to do.

 

Sometimes Kara held Lena’s hand and Lena told herself it‘s just how Kara was with friends.

 

“So I have a friend at school” Lena began and Lillian immediately looked suspicious, “And she’s invited me to stay with her family for a week over summer vacation”

“Who are they?” Lillian asked in a bored voice

“The Danvers. My friend is Kara”

“No idea” She still hadn’t looked up from her book, “Does Samantha know them?”

“She’s friends with Kara’s older sister, Alex”

“Alex” Lillian rolled the name around on her tongue, “Short for Alexandra, I assume”

“Does it matter?” Lena asked impatiently

“Lots of things matter, things I doubt you’ll ever understand. But I suppose not. Put it on the calendar if it’s empty. Make sure you don’t do anything stupid”

“Yes ma’am” Lena muttered to herself, before speaking up “Thank you”

Lillian made no comment. Lena left for her bedroom with a sigh of relief. She was going to go to Kara’s. For a whole week. A whole week, away from Lillian and with Kara.

 

It was weird being around a normal family. The Danvers did normal family stuff, like bike rides (which Lena couldn’t keep up on. They waited for her) and board games (which Lena won almost all of. Apart from Operation- unsurprisingly Alex’s forte), and not having passive aggressive show-downs every time they interacted. They also did some less normal family stuff, that Lena still enjoyed, like stargazing. The thing that, already so close to her heart, allowed her to be there with the Danvers. It was often during stargazing that Kara would hold her hand. Sometimes she grabbed it to get Lena’s attention, then gently hold on as she showed Lena whatever she’d just seen through the binoculars. Other times, Lena would barely notice, lost as she was in the world of the stars, but as she removed herself from it, drew the binoculars away from her face, her hand would be in Kara’s. It felt like it belonged there, but it also made Lena feel like her body was buzzing some how, thrumming and pulsating like stars do as they churn out the energy they make deep in the core. Just as predictable too; Lena did some research after hearing about helioseismology, and the Sun sounded exactly how she thought it would. Maybe that was her, with Kara. Reacting exactly as it seemed that she would. In hindsight, Lena exactly expected herself to fall for Kara Danvers the way she had done, and then to do exactly nothing about it. Just remaining her friend, at Kara’s side, just a friend.

 

On the Tuesday night , as Kara and Alex were cheerfully washing up, occasionally throwing water and suds at eachother, Maggie, who was over that evening, took Lena aside

“Hey Luthor” Maggie said. Maggie seemed to call everyone by their surnames- even Alex half the time

“What’s up?” Lena asked, wondering why Maggie had brought her aside into the other room at all

“You have got to do something about this”

“About what?”

“Your thing for Kara”

“I don’t-“

“You do”

“I do” Lena admitted, “But I’m me and she’s-“

“Never seemed to care as much about a friend as she does about you. Not from what I can gather, not from what Alex reckons” Maggie interrupted

“Yeah but,” Lena sighed, “I think you‘be heard of my brother, but if you didn’t know, my family life isn’t exactly sunshine and rainbows”

“So?”

“Kara is just so... different. From that. I don’t think she’d ever see me that way anyway, and even if she did... I don’t know. It just feels like it gets in the way”

“I feel you” Maggie put an arm around Lena sympathetically, “But don’t assume people won’t understand you. Everyone’s got secrets”

“Yeah?” Lena asked skeptically

“I got kicked out by my dad when I was fifteen and I’ve lived with my aunt ever since”

“Oh” Lena didn’t know what to say, but she couldn’t help herself from asking, even though it felt insensitive: “What happened?”

“I... I was naive” Maggie sighed, “I thought maybe that because I was his daughter, it would be okay if I liked girls... but it’s by the by. It happened. I’m kind of over it now. Mostly” She swallowed. Lena thought she didn’t seem very over it

“I’m sorry. I mean, I think Lillian’s long given up on me ever making her proud, but I wouldn’t put that past her either. It must have been awful”

“Yeah, it was” Maggie admitted, “But people get over these things. People grow. I’m sure if you open up to Kara, about anything, it’ll turn out fine”

“Yeah, well, we’ll see”

“Please, Luthor?” Maggie asked, “It sucks seeing you all... look, I’m gonna say it: mopey”

“I don’t mope”

“Sure you do” Maggie laughed

“Do not” Lena hit her half-heartedly with a cushion. At that point, Alex and Kara walked in

“We found you, finally” Alex announced in mock exasperation

“Yes, Lena was just assaulting me” Maggie laughed

“I was not” Lena insisted

“Are you asking me to defend your honour babe?” Alex sighed, picking up another one of the cushions

“Two against one?” Lena gasped in mock betrayal, “Kara, you have to help me”

“I’ve got your back Lena” Kara announced, triumphantly raising a cushion of her own and adopting a hero stance.

 

From there, it descended into chaos. Lena wasn’t used to chaos, to messing up rooms and having silly, childish fun. She knew that stars began their lives in chaos, often ended them in it too. It only seemed fitting that she got her own share; after all, people kind of began and ended life that way too. Not that Lena was ever allowed to be a messy child. No, everything had to be neat as a pin and Lena was left to relegate the chaos in her life to her emotions instead. There’d been a lot of that since she met Kara- fluttering heartbeats, shaky legs and gastric butterflies. All while feeling the most relaxed Lena had felt around anyone, since Lex got put in prison. But she could deal with it. She’d always dealt with internal chaos and this was just a new kind. Whatever Maggie said.

 

She still thought about it as she and Kara went upstairs (Kara had insisted Lena stay in her room, because she had a double bed anyway and it would be like having a ton of sleepovers in a row. Sometimes, she was really like a child). Maybe she could open up about her family at least. Kara ought to know, really.

“Hey” She said, “Can I tell you something?”

Kara whipped her head around sharply. She might have looked startled; Lena wasn’t sure.

“Sure” She said. It was almost tentative

“I just thought... well you don’t know much about my family”

“I don’t know much about my own either” Kara shrugged

“What?” Lena furrowed her brow, “Kara I’ve met your family. A lot”

“They are my family, it’s true” Kara conceded, “Not by blood though. I was fostered by them”

“Oh”

“Yeah. My parents died when I was about three or four. I should probably remember them better but, “ Kara shrugged, and in that shrug Lena sensed more weight on the girl’s shoulders than she had ever perceived before, “I don’t”

“I’m sorry” For the second time in a short while, Lena had nothing to say. She supposed Maggie must know, and this was probably on her mind when she encouraged Lena to open up

“It’s okay, “ Kara smiled a small smile than made Lena feel like her heart was going to melt, “Alex and Mom and Dad, I love them a lot and they love me too. I’ve had a very happy life”

“I’m glad” Lena said, feeling like it was a very inadequate response, but not knowing what else to say. She meant it though

“Anyway, I’m so sorry!” Kara suddenly said very quickly, looking at Lena apologetically. The warm seriousness on her face was gone again, “You were totally going to tell me something and I just went right in and-“

“It’s alright Kara” Lena laughed a little, “I’m glad that you told me. It means I earned your trust, and I’m glad I’ve managed that”

“Of course you have” Kara said insistently, “Anyway, what did you want to say? You don’t have to tell me though”

“No, I want to” Lena replied firmly, “My father died when I was very little. It was suspicious circumstances, but nothing ever came of it”

“I’m sorry, that must be hard” Kara said sympathetically. No, Lena corrected, empathetically. It felt stupid to wonder, but maybe that was why her and Kara just seemed to connect. They didn’t know it, but they shared an experience that they didn’t with many other people they’d met in their lives.

 

She went on to tell Kara about Lex, how he was always such a kind brother, how much she had loved him as a child. The four drug rings he’d been running out of the family’s pharmaceutical business, that Lena was pretty sure Lillian had known about the whole time, and just ignored. She really had loved Lex, believed that he was smart enough to not get caught. Which he was, Lena knew. She still wondered how it had happened. True, Lex had killed a man. She wondered why he did that too. Numerous photos emerged of the two at clubs together, but the man he killed didn’t seem to be in the drugs business at all. She had to give Lillian credit; cutting off the only person she loved entirely, placing the blame for the drug rings entirely onto him to save her own name was cold, even by Lillian’s standards. Maybe that was why she’d become so much harder on Lena after he was gone. The only warm part of her, if it had truly existed, had died forever.

 

“I knew I recognised your name, I just didn’t think...” Kara trailed off sadly, not knowing where to look. Quite abruptly, she drew Lena into a huge hug.

“Yeah, well, people don’t just avoid me at school because I’m a nerd and a lesbian” Lena joked

“Those are both awesome things to be” Kara said indignantly. She still didn’t quite understand why she got the free pass that Lena didn’t, but having learned all she had... it made a little more sense

“I mean, I agree” Lena laughed

“You know, I think you might be one of the kindest people I’ve ever met”

“Kara you’ve met yourself, you know that right? You’re more forgiving of people than I will ever be”

“I don’t mean it like that. I don’t think I can explain” Kara shrugged, “You’re my favourite person I’ve ever met though, I think”

“Even above Winn’s dog?” Lena raised an eyebrow

“Dogs don’t count, but yes” Kara rolled her eyes, “Even above Winn’s dog”

“High praise”

 

A few more days passed. Lena helped Kara bake a cake and pretended her heart wasn’t pounding as fast as a planetary nebula being ejected by a dying star when Kara paused to wipe some flour off Lena’s nose. They went kayaking, hiring third two man. Lena laughed when Alex managed to unseat Kara from their boat, and screamed when Maggie ensured she followed shortly after. She tried not to blush as Kara attempted to fix the haphazard wet strands adorning Lena’s face when they reached the bank.

So many near misses, so many times when Lena almost, almost, let slip how she felt about Kara, be it with her words or her body language. Lena had arrived on a Saturday, would be leaving on the next Sunday, and though she was just over halfway in her stay, the number of near misses she’d had must have rivalled the number of stars in the Milky Way and Andromeda galaxies combined. Maybe even outstrip that total. It was inevitable that at some point Lena would crack, in the same way that inevitably the Milky Way and Andromeda galaxies were fated to collide in a few billion years.

 

She just didn’t anticipate being in front of Kara’s entire family.

 

Flirting wasn’t something Lena did. She didn’t really know how. She just bottled her feelings up until they were suffocating, strangling her and waited for them to subside. Like any sane, normal, socially awkward teenager would. Another thing to thank Lillian for: the only human interactions Lena had grown up with were passive aggressive stand-offs, and business agreements. Hence, the only signs she liked Kara were the way she looked at her just a little too long when Kara wasn’t paying attention, the way she smiled just a little (maybe a lot) more at Kara than she did at anyone else. Little things that the odd observer might pick up on, but things Kara herself was blind to.

 

That changed though, all because of one conversation. They were eating dinner and vaguely watching a film (2001: A Space Odyssey. Everyone in the room had seen it at least once), so Kara had her phone out. Lena was kind of zoned in in the film. She’d seen it once before, but it was getting to a particularly dramatic part that had been her absolute favourite moment the first time. It was only fair that when Kara slammed her phone down onto the arm of the sofa in frustration, it made her jump

“What’s wrong?” Kara’s mother asked. She insisted that Lena call her Eliza, but Lena still couldn’t help but call her Mrs Danvers. She thought she might get there soon though

“It’s stupid Mike again” Kara huffed

“God, what’s he up to now?” Lena rolled her eyes. Kara picked her phone back up and showed Lena the conversation. Her parents seemed to understand that it wasn’t something she wanted them to see, but Alex tried to crane her neck and look from the other end of the sofa. Lena was disgusted by what she saw. Mike had asked to hang out (a thinly veiled pretence for a date. That much was clear to both her and Kara). Kara had, completely respectfully, replied that she was not interested. Then he’d gone off the deep end. Called her all sorts of horrible things Lena didn’t even want to repeat.

“Screw him” She said, not wanting to swear around Kara’s parents, “You’re better than him and he knows it”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah, way out of his league. Easily” Lena saw Alex smirk a little out of the corner of her eye and ignored it, “He’s just sad”

“Yeah, I know, I just... it stings a bit. I’m not as tough as you I guess” Kara laughed

“That’s probably a good thing” Lena said quietly

“No, I think it’s awesome. I wish I could be like that. Instead I’m half believing all the stupid things he’s saying about me being ugly” She looked like she was about to cry and that was what made Lena snap and forget every detail of the situation she was in, besides trying to make Kara feel better, to assure her that Mike was entirely full of shit.

“No way. Kara, you’re funny and kind and smart, which are all so much more important, but you’re also probably the most beautiful person I’ve ever met” Lena said earnestly, “No wonder I-“

She would have continued, but Alex, quite genuinely, swallowed her water down the wrong way and started to cough. Lena stopped seeing red, if that was the right way to put it, immediately. She rocketed back to the Danvers’ living room, whether Kara was staring at her with wide eyes and her parents were staring firmly at the TV.

 

Shit.

 

Alex finished her coughing fit in time to give Lena an apologetic look. She didn’t see it though; she couldn’t meet any of their eyes. She’d well and truly hit her supernova moment. For the first time she’d exploded outwards with her feelings, rather than quietly imploding somewhere out of sight. It was much worse. Kara’s Dad collected plates hurriedly, despite not having finished his meal. Eliza loudly asked Alex if she was okay. And Kara, Kara sat in silence, phone still open on Mike’s messages in her hand, eyes still fixed on Lena.

“I need the bathroom” Lena said weakly. She pressed the lock button on Kara’s phone gently, in lieu of giving her an apologetic look. Once out the door, she bolted up the stairs and into Kara’s room. It felt wrong to be in there, but she didn’t know where else to go. She hadn’t just embarrassed herself, but Kara too. She could hear conversations downstairs- Alex saying the word “idiot”, Eliza reprimanding her softly. Lena wished she could screw her ears shut tightly like she could with her eyes. She didn’t need to hear what they were saying about her. She knew. Supernova moment was exactly the term. Kara had always seemed so full of light, exactly like a B or O type star. Lena was the companion, the red dwarf that expanded over the boundaries of where it could exist, siphoning from Kara’s radiance until she could no longer bear it. A textbook type Ia.

 

Somewhere in between Lena beginning to cry, and mistaking the pounding of footsteps on the landing for her own, slowly waning heart, Kara burst into the room in a fluster

“Lena” Kara began, but found she didn’t know what was supposed to come next. Lena was a pile of quiet sobs on her duvet and it knocked the breath of out Kara to see her like that.

“I know” She replied, gritting her teeth and trying to keep the tears from permeating her voice too, “I’m sorry”

“Please don’t be” Kara said softly. She sat down on the bed, “I’m glad you said what you said”

“You don’t have to do this Kara”

“It’s nice to be told you’re beautiful. Especially by someone as beautiful as you” Kara managed. She stumbled on some of the words. Lena didn’t reply, so Kara pressed on, “And I think you were about to tell me-“

“Yeah” Lena interrupted. She wasn’t sure she could bear to hear Kara say it

“Can I tell you something?” Kara said suddenly, not giving Lena time to respond, “When you came stargazing for the first time, that was only my second time there. I’d stargazed before of course, but never at the group. I only stayed because you were there”

“Right”

“I’m sorry, I’m awful for rambling when I’m trying to say something important. And just in general. Anyway, what I’m trying to stay is that I didn’t stay because of the stars, even though they’re cool. I stayed because of you”

Lena raised her head. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were damp and Kara couldn’t help but pull her into a hug, even though she felt like Lena wasn’t ready for it. Lena held onto her though

“So if I’m right in thinking that you were about to tell me that you liked me” Kara said tentatively. She felt Lena’s laugh against her shoulder. It made her feel warm

“You would be, yes”

“Well then” Kara said, sounding pleased, “Wait, what do we do now?”

Lena laughed again, and moved back from the hug

“Hold hands? Go on a date?”

“We already hold hands. Sometimes. I hold your hand sometimes because it made me feel happy” Kara admitted. Lena smiled at her like she’d placed the Moon itself into Lena’s hands.

“You’re a nerd”

“Do you want to go on a date?”

“Sure” Lena laughed a little, “What do you wanna do?”

“You’re supposed to go for lunch or coffee or something, right?” Kara asked

“That could be fun” Lena shrugged, “Do you want to?”

“I want to do something special” Kara decided, “Can we go stargazing?”

“Is that even a question? When?”

“Tomorrow”

“You move fast” Lena teased

“I do play soccer”

“Ooh, does that mean I can come to your matches and wear your training jacket?” Lena meant it as a joke, but Kara blushed a little. She had to admit, it was a fun thought.

 

Still, there was plenty of time to figure that out, and all the stars in the sky to watch them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
